I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
