Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
