How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
