Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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