I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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