I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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