have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
