Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
