he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize