Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
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You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
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my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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