so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
