Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize