You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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