How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize