Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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