can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize