i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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