Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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