Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize