...so i touched it.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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