i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
