that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
