She is in my trunk
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
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