Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
