Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
