That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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