new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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