girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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