I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
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I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
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Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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