Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
