That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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