Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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