i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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