Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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