her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i will never coherently bang her
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize