Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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