If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
