I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
