Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize