are you still at the devil's house?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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