ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
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He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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