Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
