Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize