Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers

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(616): U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers http://tfl.nu/yb16

Replies (4) Good night (866) Bad night (1013)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said

(770): View more from Georgia

she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to

(404): View more from Georgia

You KNEW her power was out...

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(404): I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said (770): she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to (404): You KNEW her power was out... http://tfl.nu/ggzc

Replies (39) Good night (11972) Bad night (1111)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww

(1-613): View more from Ontario

no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call

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(613): Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww (1-613): no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call http://tfl.nu/pane

Replies (27) Good night (1030) Bad night (4259)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

i turned job hunting into a drinking game..

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(651): i turned job hunting into a drinking game.. http://tfl.nu/xroj

Replies (20) Good night (5847) Bad night (766)
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(512): View more from Texas

I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.

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(512): I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me. http://tfl.nu/y2u9

Replies (10) Good night (979) Bad night (3246)
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(650): View more from California

Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy

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(650): Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy http://tfl.nu/o3ew

Replies (8) Good night (1063) Bad night (2907)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

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(601): Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though. http://tfl.nu/pqgx

Replies (20) Good night (3427) Bad night (612)
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(847): View more from Illinois

So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.

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(847): So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country. http://tfl.nu/mcq8

Replies (9) Good night (2333) Bad night (599)
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(404): View more from Georgia

So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.

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(404): So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord. http://tfl.nu/381z

Replies (5) Good night (485) Bad night (794)
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(289): View more from Ontario

Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.

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(289): Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating. http://tfl.nu/q7ic

Replies (3) Good night (1027) Bad night (329)
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(224): View more from Illinois

We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.

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(224): We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious. http://tfl.nu/mvzv

Replies (4) Good night (1030) Bad night (453)
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(773): View more from Illinois

The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.

(206): View more from Washington

I should have never moved out...

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(773): The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese. (206): I should have never moved out... http://tfl.nu/kyqk

Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (510)
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(585): View more from New York

We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE

(585): View more from New York

AND NO VODKA

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(585): We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE (585): AND NO VODKA http://tfl.nu/16y5

Replies (3) Good night (298) Bad night (592)
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(416): View more from Toronto

This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.

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(416): This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic. http://tfl.nu/tsif

Replies (6) Good night (738) Bad night (369)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.

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(571): I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me. http://tfl.nu/vbgb

Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (262)

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