Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk

  (678): View more from Georgia

  discrete masterbation is a lost art

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  (770): Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk (678): discrete masterbation is a lost art http://tfl.nu/z067
  Replies (32) Good night (680) Bad night (2731)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.

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  (606): There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992. http://tfl.nu/3pqb
  Replies (17) Good night (818) Bad night (3398)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.

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  (770): I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon. http://tfl.nu/qalv
  Replies (14) Good night (883) Bad night (4352)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.

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  (412): Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/42ye
  Replies (6) Good night (4387) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us

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  (225): She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us http://tfl.nu/zfzd
  Replies (28) Good night (5325) Bad night (1240)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"

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  (802): What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow" http://tfl.nu/01bq
  Replies (32) Good night (4111) Bad night (1757)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.

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  (651): okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are. http://tfl.nu/937u
  Replies (9) Good night (5239) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world

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  (561): So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world http://tfl.nu/2aj7
  Replies (2) Good night (1150) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.

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  (651): College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars. http://tfl.nu/lcai
  Replies (3) Good night (916) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited

  (951): View more from California

  dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles

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  (951): omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited (951): dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles http://tfl.nu/4z6p
  Replies (7) Good night (1446) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.

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  (858): This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars. http://tfl.nu/bno3
  Replies (9) Good night (1768) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  10 points to you

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  (717): He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture. (1-717): 10 points to you http://tfl.nu/7e2v
  Replies (8) Good night (2124) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?

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  (781): Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station? http://tfl.nu/6qox
  Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!

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  (714): I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really! http://tfl.nu/ol8j
  Replies (0) Good night (263) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.

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  (703): Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex. http://tfl.nu/3doz
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (360)

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