Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work. http://tfl.nu/jzpk
  Replies (31) Good night (3607) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40... http://tfl.nu/f1ts
  Replies (25) Good night (710) Bad night (5776)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks http://tfl.nu/dbvg
  Replies (21) Good night (1080) Bad night (3369)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card http://tfl.nu/pv0m
  Replies (8) Good night (4255) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools http://tfl.nu/dqol
  Replies (10) Good night (4038) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time http://tfl.nu/arsj
  Replies (18) Good night (3522) Bad night (1713)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam.. http://tfl.nu/opqs
  Replies (30) Good night (3346) Bad night (2185)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card http://tfl.nu/zhem
  Replies (7) Good night (2693) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying. http://tfl.nu/uj2j
  Replies (3) Good night (2087) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea. http://tfl.nu/ejed
  Replies (6) Good night (2492) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know http://tfl.nu/k0hk
  Replies (1) Good night (1295) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you. http://tfl.nu/3o9h
  Replies (4) Good night (2723) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS. http://tfl.nu/qjb8
  Replies (3) Good night (1103) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me. http://tfl.nu/8d60
  Replies (7) Good night (920) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away. http://tfl.nu/5and
  Replies (0) Good night (642) Bad night (229)

Randomize