does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific