I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.