You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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