she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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