My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
