didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
