whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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