Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
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we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
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Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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