He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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