I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
