Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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