Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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