I want to stick my p in your. b.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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