thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
