TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
