Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
