check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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