you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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